Do you ever get stuck tapping on an issue that seems really stubborn? How many rounds are you supposed to tap if the intensity isn’t coming down? You probably gave up and decided that EFT doesn’t work for you, but all hope is not lost. Chances are you’re just measuring too much at once.
An issue that you have today is usually the result of related issues that have built up over time. When you measure the intensity of your irritation with your spouse, for example, you’re measuring an entire collection of irritations that have accumulated in the relationship, not just one. And when you determine that your intensity for the irritation is at an 8 out of 10 right now, you’re probably measuring the whole pattern at once.
Consider this…last night, your spouse spent the whole evening staring at his phone. That would be ok if it was a one-time thing, but because he has been heading out to the golf course more often, he has been neglecting things at home…namely you and possibly your kids, leaving you saddled with most of the daily chores. Before that, he spent three months immersed in a business project, and since you met him, his mother has been a constant invasion on your quality time.
Finally, you’re irritated! But it’s about a lot more than just the phone. Let’s see how we might measure those individual parts.
- We can give the phone an 8 on its own.
- Then let’s give the golf course a 2 for the first time, a 6 for the second time, and a few 8s and 9s once you started feeling the pressure of all the extra work at home.
- The business project could have been good news at first, but let’s say it became a solid 7 in the third month when you were tired of eating dinner alone.
- Finally, let’s assume that even though you have tried to deny your true feelings, his mother’s invasions and criticism have escalated you to an instant 9 or 10 every time she calls. How many years have you known him? That could be a lot of 9s and 10s.
- Today, it’s like all of those factors are averaging out to an 8 of irritation for you.
If you measure your current “irritation” and then tap a round, your system will spend the entire round trying to find all of those various parts and do its best to resolve what it can in the time you’re giving it. At the end of one or even a few rounds, you may still be experiencing an 8 without seeing the progress that was made behind the scenes.
If instead, you separate the issue into smaller parts, you can measure each part individually, and see which ones are being resolved as you tap.
“ET I have this irritation with my spouse…”
- Now, how do I feel about the phone last night?
- How do I feel about the golf course?
- How do I feel about that business project, or rather, eating all those dinners alone?
- How do I feel about his mother’s invasions?
- And how irritated am I with him right now?
Ideally, you would shift your approach to tapping on the smaller parts, but even if you kept tapping on “this irritation” you could see the smaller parts changing with each round if you measures them separately.
Traditionally, healing approaches start at the surface and describe issues in very broad terms. EFT actually works better with a divide and conquer strategy. It may seem strange at first, but EFT IS strange. It’s not only a new method, but it works with new philosophy, and if you miss that part, you’re missing most of the power. If you want the whole benefit, let’s embrace the whole philosophy.
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